One-on-one meetings between managers and reports are probably the most important meetings in an organization.

Their main purpose is trust. A manager who has built trust can handle difficult feedback, mistakes, and uncertainty much more easily. Without it, even a routine conversation can feel threatening.

For managers

  1. Be present. Do not multitask.
  2. Keep the conversation private unless the report agrees that something should be shared.
  3. Let the report raise their concerns first.
  4. Address those concerns directly. Do not simply try to make the person feel better.
  5. Write down action items and complete them before the next meeting.
  6. Provide context the report may not receive elsewhere.
  7. Ask for feedback often. Do not wait for a formal review.
  8. Avoid rescheduling. If the meeting runs out of time, schedule a follow-up soon.
  9. Give warnings before difficult conversations. Good surprises can be fun. Bad surprises are rarely useful.

Managers have a large effect on a report’s emotional health. Reports will notice changes in tone, attention, and behavior, even when the manager thinks nothing is wrong.

For reports

  1. Bring a short list of topics, concerns, or blockers.
  2. Ask for the context you need to do your job.
  3. Ask how your work compares with expectations.
  4. Write down decisions and follow-up items.
  5. Remember that some managers document or share what they hear. Decide what you are comfortable discussing.

A good one-on-one should make the next difficult conversation easier. If it only produces a status update, it is probably missing the point.